That’s probably because there aren’t any here to terrify and torment me. Reason #5 why I sleep better in Spain.
Just have to share this…yesterday, my friend Leanne commented about how the squirrels that surround my treehouse apartment in the Bronx are probably partying it up big time while I’m gone. And then our friend Alana, wrote this:
hahaha the squirrels! the squirrels! I wish I could read their blog…. “Day 4: The man-footed woman has been gone for some time now. We ventured into the forbidden sector in search of food but everything was in tall bottles topped with corks. Strange. The bathroom is guarded by an army of ducks. They would not respond to our attempts at friendly communication. Tomorrow we return armed.”
Oh Alana, that is one hilarious scenario, I cannot stop laughing! And I wish I could draw the comic strip you have created in my head! You know, this is exactly how I imagine that shit goes down. (And my rubber ducks definitely appreciate the shout out!)
For anyone who has not had the delight and pleasure of waking up in my apartment OR has not heard any of my crazy-but-true, squirrelphobic theories about what goes on in my walls and air-conditioner, there is a Bronx menagerie plotting to ultimately get in and take over the attic. First it was the bees, then the squirrels, then the carcass flies, then the birds and now I think it’s a rare, hybrid bird-squirrel-bee.
It’s just a matter of time.
Both Alana and Leanne have firsthand experience with the impending squirrel invasion, so they know I’m not crazy. Well, not that crazy. And my friend Amelia was there when a kind of big bird just flew through my apartment from lord knows where. My friend Tony saw a squirrel sitting right outside my homemade screen door-window, so he knows I’m not nuts. My nephew witnessed the attack of the carcass flies, where I single-manhandedly killed hundreds of them…take that brave little tailor! And my most recent guests, the Martins, were probably the first to hear the bird-squirrel-bee, the birsquirbeeus loudus, in full force.
Who I am now convinced are responsible for the recent destruction of my brilliant pillow blockade.
It really is just a matter of time.
Omg, that’s hilarious! I am a firsthand witness to the crazy zoo you live in. And I’m also a fellow squirrelphobia sufferer. Must be nice to be away from it all. But who knows what will be waiting for you in your treehouse when you get back. Lol. Xoxo
Do you like my drawing of birsquirbeeus loudus? I think you can do a much better job, I still want to make a stick figure animation of you running from the living room to the polka dot room in terror.
Surprisingly, there were no animals in my apartment when I got home a few hours ago, but the odor of skunk woke me up at 4:30. Uggghhh. Skunks in the Bronx. But I’m glad, I was going to post some more pics here and I got this wonderful surprise of all your comments! Love you xx